Fragments of snow

I could tell you about my 1,5 weeks trip through Finland. The many cities, airbnb’s, couchsurfing, our christmas lunch at people who were first strangers, the Rubik’s Cube competition my daughter participated at and where she got 9 pr’s (personal records), the conversation with a father who was astrophysicist and now is busy with AI, not the chat/gpt/online stuff, how different one can live, think and still have a true conversation, of finally more vegan food and even if Finland is way better in that, I still wouldn’t want to live there, and needing the mountains and the nature Norway is a lucky bastard to have. I can talk about much more, but only two things I want to truly share:

Finland story 1.

I have just finished two short mini studies: animal traces and tracking and wild picking. The first subject I will start this Happy New Year (to you) with the full course. The other somewhere in or after May, after the snow melts. For both courses being outdoors, in nature, is what is needed to learn.

In Kirkkonummi near Helsinki I was walking in a small part that was forest, while my daughter was at the competition having a break but practising. I looked at the ground. No snow unfortunately. I saw the earth had been walked on, scraped, maybe a hoof or snout. I immediately thought of a roe deer. I probably was wrong and in a small forest I didn’t expect it, maybe it was just some young teenagers that had been annoying each other.
One minute later I saw two deers looking and running from me. Their white tail behinds showing.

Maybe I suck at learning languages, but that of words. I am better at reading people and tracks, of course it will take some time, but I feel this would be easier for me and would suit me better..

Finland story 2.
I drove over the 6 in Finland. The highway passes very close to Russia. I even saw in the distance a little. Only nature is directly at the border.
The other road I came with, was very boring and too crowded and wanted to feel how I would feel passing near the Russian border with everything going on. Thinking sometimes of moving outside Europe-Russia tension.
The last three years have been tough. Nature has cured a bit. A weird thing happened, when passing the border, I felt changing. Less scared. Way less scared. I felt rational, almost with a military feeling.
The last months I have heard from an ex-mayor how tough I was, from an ex-policeman from Turkey who was in prison due to criminal politics, I heard how more I have ever dared than him.
Maybe I should dare more again, for it makes me more in control, more awake and feeling more tough. It is something I have lost in the recent years and it is hard to be as tough even as a traveling mother.
But . . .  I have done so many things without carrying a weapon, without having fellow ‘soldiers’ next to me.


THE SERENITY OF SNOW
These last months

The wild rivers that come from the mountains over the hills to the valley are slowing down, partially freezing, creating mesmerizing shapes, where sometimes the water is still floating under, like swimming creatures of shadows, silencing down, adding to the change of the sound a snow covered landscape adds to our hearing.
Soon the rivers will fall in deep rest and in those short days a meter of snow will easily fall and cover up a world.

Just a tip of its back in the snow is seen, a mouse is taking peanuts and sunflower seeds into his house in the ground, seeds that have fallen while I was refilling the birdhouse. When I inspect these lovely sights closer, I see holes in the snow where the tiny creature had made it’s way from under the ground up. I lay some extra seeds and peanuts just near the entrances.


***

After carrying many rocks and placing them the best I can, I decided that even if I wanted it higher, my fireplace is ready. My energy is not taken away from me this time after a long walk and when the night falls I decide to make a fire. It takes a little while for the fire to burn fully. The marshmallows are perfectly soft in the middle and crunchy and a bit smokey on the outside.
I have no big successes, I believe the idea of success is overrated, but when I can get the perfect marshmallow and give it to my daughter, it feels like something like a success.
As if the just fallen night after a shade of yellow vanishing isn’t enough, strings start to shape in the sky, not in a deep present green, but still aurora is forming, painting our night.

***

These are wolf tracks. No human being has been on this track since the new fallen snow. These tracks are bigger than most dogs, in a steadier pace and no human footprints have stepped in this snow accompanying a dog.

This has to be from today. These tracks are new. I see many and try to interpret it. Small predator: arctic fox? These are deers. Has to be reindeers. Not other deers. Haven’t seen them and the Sami let their reindeers wander in freedom, before being killed.
I saw two reindeers just before parking the car at the pool circle centre which is closed and very quiet, with only one other parked there, normally full of travelers and tourists.

Another track is bigger. Moose? But later I see a very round big track. Definitely no horses here, a Musk ox? I know they live in Norway. Still, have I been that lucky?

When on another walk I see big footprints of a Human being, I try to read it. Bigger feet than me, walking boots, a man, it snowed a bit before and while walking. It was today, I think two hours ago, I see it goes and comes back later. The new footprints are more visible and I am walking back to the track, knowing I will be alone from scary guy creatures. I seriously was less worried when seeing a wolf track.

***

Mountains under snow. Mountains with some rocks showing through the white. Rough and undeniable. I love feeling small, but feel at home in their sight. No, I am not the adventurer that climbs them, though next year I will, after snow has melted and the wild rivers and endless long waterfalls have calmed down and dried the paths a bit.

I have always felt bad for the living: trees being chopped down for our houses, fires (yes, here needed sometimes) and furniture. But lately I feel worse for the mountains.I am happy for the tunnel, my daughter calls The Scary Tunnel near our house, otherwise we would not live here or get anywhere. No possible road around, or you need a daily boat. And with low water, no car will get to the otherside.

But, what if we have some forests we use and regrow again? A mountain carved has changed forever. Mountains that existed way before humankind. Do things that do not feel pain have no worth due to their uniqueness?
Not talking about tunnels, but I have seen big parts of rocks, hills, mountains, changed completely so we can use their material.
I just am saying, not living things, like air, water (not what lives in it), mountains: stones and all, are also precious. I do not believe in a god and such, but even so, mother earth is closer to believe in, I wonder: why do we look outside this planet so much for something to hold on to, for meaning . . .