Half empty moon and the fairytale that isn't

The moon is in its third quarter two days after seeing the magnificent Northern Lights. It still was not hundred percent dark yet at night and the moon was more full still, but for over half an hour we saw and were in awe by the beams of mostly green, a tiny bit of yellow and pink, forming, shaping, chancing over our house up in the high hills.

I missed the bat my daughter saw flying over us, but anyway, it made it complete.

The night has always been my most favorite part of the day. Most work, shops and people are inside or asleep. Finally rest! Nature takes over.

Staring at the half-moon going to new moon, I think of those half empty, half full glasses phrases… Always blaming what you have been taught or heard most. Believing it says something about you, if you look at things in life positive or negative. I just see a half empty moon, that goes to half full moon after being a new one. It depends where life is taking you or how you are taking life. No judgement on someone's views or character necessary.

When the morning arrives you can see the rental house we can stay in for a year. The owners are warmhearted and intelligent people. Their daughter and mine laugh a lot together.
The bureaucracy hell seems to be getting somewhere, but I do not feel it is heaven. When one thing, which is most important, for without I can not keep my car, finally came through I was more relieved than happy. I want to celebrate but am tired and have still so much to do. Life is not suddenly a fairytale because I dare change and people want it like that (or opposite: something negative). Moving here is also physically a last try as well and I had very little to stay for, also the house was sold in The Netherlands.
To change my birth nationality was also not what I was looking for, though I like to be without country in a way. Being a world citizen is going off grid and that is not for me as a worldly person. (If you get my drift.) The Sami live here, but nomads are still discriminated and unfree? You would think they of all would understand differences here. Why are different forms of living so scary for those who think that what they are is average so better, so much restriction to truly live.
I confess I like being thé ‘tourist/traveler’ a bit, for I am not expected to become similar. Feel sorry though, that some people outside The Netherlands, think now what a typical Dutch person is. (Forgive me. ;))

When thinking of the Netherlands I just see a hurried life, with no peace wherever you go. Full agenda’s and stress. Here too many have burn-outs, brain fog due to menopause, etc, as well.
I confess, and this is new to me, I feel mixed almost getting a Norwegian number plate and such and next week I probably finally can unregister from the Netherlands. Now I hundred percent know that a double passport is healthy! For if you want it or not, you have a connection with where you were born and were the most of your life. So if over five years I am still here, I never want to lose my Dutch Passport which is also EU.

My daughter is learning Norwegian at school since this Wednesday. Taking it in so easy and with a lot of joy learning it. Nothing compared how I took in English and couldn’t be taught Portugees at the American school in Brazil when I was seven. One extra language is already too much for me. I am even now making more and more Dutch grammar mistakes again and am lost for words sometimes.
I would have maybe chosen Ireland, just due to the language and love of all the different accents there. But schools are terrible there and nature in Norway stays amazing, even though I am getting sometimes too used to it already. The Netherlands is already becoming that distant country. (I am above the poolcirkel by the way.)

Sometimes I do not know if being here is good for me. I am way more outgoing, but like a friend said I was also that in The Netherlands. He said: people are boring. And though I have met many kind people, I feel the same. However, I have become too tired due to my allergies (almost gone here, but in The Netherlands whole year around), asthma, chronic tendinitis and yes fucked up menopauze, that really being outgoing is limited anyway.
I share this and the next with reason. I am tired of the taboo talking about these things.  
When three weeks a month of menstruation pains/feeling one tries things. The pill helped (without the stop week), but I stopped it anyway. Felt with the pill (and I had a light and very specific one) even more blurry and my body was telling me it was becoming restless. Lately I am more fast angry again but also faster okay and feeling lighter at the same time. Seriously, menopause is a hell! Funny how many women (not me) have this feeling beforehand: will sport, take vitamins and eat healthy and all will be fine. I say to them: wait and see… or just laugh. Pure luck! I heard many having this romantic idea of it and were very disappointed and more. 

I probably have more interesting stories to tell. We saw Northern bats, quails (in the wild seldom) and a male reindeer with huge hoorns. We have been twice to a cinema, also a local one, in what looks like an old school gym. We were only with two others. Also to a local swimming pool connected to a school. Have library passes. Many kind people here. A bit more reserved, but less fake.
It looks like I will be working soon, first to learn Norwegian and do something for a bit of compensation. What, how and when is for later.

Look at the moon tonight or at your partner or yourself. Half empty or half full… live life. Please, with flaws, unfake, crying and laughing when it comes, just be as kind as possible. I know life's no picnic, but still have a picnic once in a while, yes literally.