A very expensive coffee

My coffee in Mo i Rana costed me 250 euro. What?! 250! Why?! Well, I canceled last minute my reservation for a wild wild north airbnb. So, I hardly got money back. I drove about 3,5 hours from Bodø to Mo i Rana. After talking to my brother and his girlfriend for a while, after finishing my coffee, during my girl was behind the computer, I decided as last check to take his girlfriends advice and flip a coin. To feel what felt best. I choose the other side… I chose to drive back to the guy I had stayed with in Bodø.

For the first time I felt this could maybe become more. I, and felt ‘we’, needed more days together to feel how we are and could be together.

Now back in the Netherlands, after a lot of driving, I feel lost. This is not home. But since I feel I need my girl to finish school here, it’s her last primary year, and I have some financial support here, I came back. Now that the distance bothers him, and he is kind of confused, which I understand, I also feel I still haven’t met the viking the Airbnb/castle owner told me I needed.
I myself would try and see. When things seem to start with doubts and worries, it doesn’t give me that good feeling: lets go for it. I start to try to take those doubts away and doing so making myself less worth in the process. I should be enough. Life should be enough. Life is alway trying and daring.
I would stay for a man, but feel the effort should be both ways. I have been through enough and deserve effort back. (Doesn’t mean I am good waiting on that. My hope has become so fragile I dare say it isn’t real hope anymore. But I try to believe life can change for the better, easier. It hasn’t yet.

How I feel now, I almost regret, for I had too much on my plate already and feel it is not becoming less. But, he was kind and warm. Interested in me and was ‘without words’ for my daughter. They gamed together. She was totally herself. Felt just all good.

Since I am back, I must say I do not feel like writing much. Though enough happened and there is enough to reflect on and to day-dream about. Sadness and stress are more my companions now.

Reciting poetry in Oslo was special. Meeting some couchsurfers was.
But must admit I was also a lot bored. It is not that I do not need things to start, things to do. It is just not here where I live. While driving I was mixed: shall I go back? But if my doubts are not taken away, I just drive on.

I feel too lost to romantically write now. Even so I felt I needed to share a bit of my last experiences. Adding photos will add more now. This was definitely not my best or easiest travel, but it has a story to it. I love stories. Was ready for an all inclusive happy ending.

Yesterday my daughter went an eleventh time around the sun since I pooped ;) her out. I asked her if she was getting dizzy yet.

In love with birds:

Nature (and the little bit of snow which makes me longing for winter):


Vigeland Sculture Park in Oslo: 


Reciting poetry:






Comments

  1. AnonymousAugust 29, 2024 at 12:43 PM

    Well, if I ever have to pay so much coffee under similar circumstances, I will do so too! Assuming of course I have enough cash or money on my bank account at the moment for it. Being adventurous can be either cheap or very expensive (or both). And it can be either very energizing or very tiring (or both).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Viviane RoseSeptember 2, 2024 at 1:41 PM

      So true! But best adventures are at least by coincidence or became one in the process of things. It was all those things at the same time. :) (Cheap as in... love is more worth than money. :))

      Delete
  2. HansAugust 31, 2024 at 4:31 PM

    Try tea the next time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Viviane RoseSeptember 2, 2024 at 1:39 PM

      Ahaha, good idea! But am not very fond of tea, but maybe I will after this...

      Delete

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